So I am sitting here banging my head against a wall because I’ve been doing this for 28 days straight. TWENTY-EIGHT, PEOPLE!
I know what I want to write about tomorrow, and I know what I want the last day to be, so today feels a bit difficult. It feels like a filler post—like a last ditch effort to get out all my stuff out
So, I just turned to Bronson and asked him what else he thinks you all need to know about me, then he looked back at me without hesitation and said:
(these are his words verbatim…He’s talking and I’m typing.)
Him: They need to know that you do a dance about everything. They need to see that weird dance you always do—always that same one..And they need to know the weird reasons you dance like when you eat tasty food, and when you find a good deal in the middle of the grocery store, and when you clean. Or when theres no traffic, or when you think you do a cool trick, and especially when you’re saying ‘no’ to the kids, or making them do chores…
….this obviously lead him into his next thought which was…
They should know that you give the kids whatever they want and when they want it….
me: NO I DONT!
Him: Ya, like the camera. It’s over a $1000 and Ozzy and Remi will ask to use it and you hand it over without hesitation–He’s TWO, Wes…TWO! And you give him a nice, fancy camera and think its cute when he messes with it. You have no regard for nice things..That’s weird–they need to know it.
me: Sheesh! K, what else?
Him: They should probably know you pick at EVERYTHING. You pluck hairs that aren’t even there. You sit down to watch shows, get all comfy, then get all the way back up to search for your tweezer and just start plucking away.
You’ll complain that you have zits but they’re actually just self made wounds, cause you wont leave your skin alone.
–—GUYS! He’s really on a roll now…He just jumped in and I’m typing and said:
I KNOW! They need to know about your sunglasses.
They’re always these huge-ass, big sunglasses that take up half your face with smudges. SERIOUSLY, WES! They’re always smudged right in your line of vision—it drives me nuts. I don’t know how you don’t notice it. Tell them how you don’t notice it. It’s weird.
….And the car. There’s like 5 different old meals at all times in that van—and basically your gym locker in the front seat.
And the biggest one! I can’t believe I forgot this one….Tell them how I have to keep you in the safe zone.
Me: whats the safe zone?
Him: The safe zone is keeping you fully fed, and making sure the weather isn’t too hot or too cold–you like ‘nothing weather’…where you literally feel nothing at all times. You can’t get out of the safe zone or you get scary…but it’s mostly just keeping you away from ever feeling hunger. You cant handle hunger.
Me: (semi-chuckling, cause, guys-SO TRUE. All these things are SO true) Are you sure these are the things they need to know?
Him: Yes. Definitely–These are the things they most need to know. This stuff is you. I wish someone tipped me off that you would turn into a ware-wolf if you aren’t fed every 3 hours. I had to find that out the hard way….
BAH HAHA ha! Until tomorrow, guys…Tomorrow!